Why I trembled so hard this night?

My heart usually numb–

Don’t feel anything

But this night,

It is really hurt

So many bad memories

That play in my head, repeatly

I try to avoid it like usual

But denial never solve anything

Or maybe only this time,

Denial cant solve my problem

Ah, it is easy to say

“Denial is not the best way to solve thing”

But in fact,

I only deny everytime it comes

I told to my friend

“Just admit it when you are sad, angry, disappointed or anything”

But those words cant save me tonight

My heart still hurt

Everytime I remember those memories

And now,

My hand tremble too

Both of them still remains me that

No matter how long it already pass

But this wound seems never heal at all

And because of that…

Tonight my hand is tremble,

My heart is hurt,

And my mind still remember clearly

Whatever that makes my eyes shed tears