Kepingan Biskuit

Just the darkest mind of biscuit

Middle and Helpless

June18

There is one day in my life,

I just wonder to have an ability

To make a lot of friends

To get along with them

And known by everyone

 

Because I hate myself too much

I hate to be an introvert

Who always feel lonely

When I don’t have any courage

To move first

In order to get along and make friend

 

And another chance just came by

In college, everything change suddenly

So drastically and I can’t help myself

I get know so many people

It feels like everyone tell me about their name

And I just force my brain to remember everyone’s name and face

 

Then I feel dizzy,

I get uncomfort

Too many people and my energy get drain easily

Then,

By the time, people around me get sort automatically

Divided into classes

Different schedule

Started to fade

 

So I try to rebuild everything

Slowly, make new friend again

Get know them in different way

Try to small talk

Discuss about our interest

And maybe…go to mall together

 

And the next day,

Some of them just to be “Say Hi” Friends

Some of them left

Some of them are founded by special condition

Some of them just stick in particular time

And some of them stay and be my bestfriend

 

But it is not easy

They, who gets near closer

And they, who really closer to me

Both of them put me in the middle

And I’m so helpless

To choose between them

 

Actually, I’m happy

Surrounded ny people I comfort to be with

Surrounded by people that can share another perspective

Surrounded by so many kind story

 

But,

What if it happen in the same time?

I don’t think it would be happy

It only makes me difficult to choose

Because I want to be fair with them

I want to spent my time and everyone get happy

No one feel left behind

But actually it is not like what I imagine

“One Zero Sum Game”

There is a winner and a loser

And that is consequency

Because making a decision

 

 

 

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